2nd Half May

May: fussy and cozy. I've met a wonderful girl. Her name is not Sara. She's very pretty, in the absolute sense. It's just so sweet.

Twitch-wise, I went further, maybe too further. Banned a second time this month.

It may all have been Twitch these two weeks. I couldn't start another Shlatco.

As of three days ago, I have toyed with the idea of buying the iPad. I am supposed to get it tomorrow. Second-hand, pencil-fancy. A promise of ending a system Microsoft has so vehemently imposed. Maybe I have been too bought by the Jobs biography. I most certainly think so. And I think it's a great thing.

Fave song of this quincena, honestly don't know.

Books, I need some. Good books. And a priority on creation.

Oh, and I've started cooking again, and I'm getting actually good.

Why I think I'm buying the iPad

My current set-up is: two screen-tall boxy speakers, an actual screen (23 inches), the boxy speakers's power box, the always big CPU, the big mousepad, the mouse,the keyboard, the Yamaha piano, the Focusrite thing, the microphone, two guitars, a headphone, the power adapter rectangle thing, which is wire-connected to the screen, the speakers and the CPU, which at the same time is connected to the mouse, the screen, the power adapter, the speakers, the keyboard, the Focusrite thing, the internet, the microphone, and that's about it.

All of this could go away and instead: iPad.
That's one of the reasons.

The other reason, maybe even a more important reason, is no. more. Windows.

I take a lot of notes. Lyrics, sudden ideas, short stories, etc. And I want to take very much time improving my writing skills. The iPad's drawing monsterhouse is a big appeal, too.

The most curious prospect, which is certainly speculation, is that the iPad could kill the wasted years. What do I mean by this? My relationship with PC has extremely-mainly being consumer-focused. Just about 5% of time I've spent on PC I've done something actually productive. Could iPad reverse this for good?

A new start, that's what buys me completely.

Brainstorming

Twitch is a wonderland.

En busqueda de proyectos que hacer que demuestren mi dirección artística.

I could just study the awful mechanics of unperfect art-creation tools. I did tried animation and it was sort of awful. I liked the possibility of creating 3d monsters but the animation process was way too complex and way way too unnatural. 1d stuff could be an alt. Posters and the such, art covers and maybe even simple, minimalistic animations on a 2d plane. Product design concepts and maybe even creatures. A Gorillaz-like production of haze. Raw xen of a 2d world. And make that into a series, why not. Or something else maybe.

Times ago there was just limited art forms, but art forms, we have been reminded, are not limited. It's not just a ''song'', or a ''movie'', but also a tiktok, a stream, a podcast, an app, and so on.

Brainstorming

Mi día a día, al que me estoy re incorporando post visitas al hospital de mi abuelo, es:

Mañana correr, 3x7

Late mañana cocinar

Tarde leer

Late tarde componer música

Noche ver streams

Necesito libros provechosos para leer

También tengo que retomar con la meditación, 20 minutos

Incorporar ejercicios en la tarde, para brazos mayormente, 3x7

Considerar preparar desayuno

Hmmm

¿Qué más podría agregar, a parte de leer? Hay opciones social-mediats. Algún stream en Twitch, a lo El Facético. Más que todo como pasatiempo.

Ver videos interesantes en la mañana, o simplemente dibujitos, puede caer bien.

Uhmm

Ahora que me lo replanto, pregunto: ¿cual sería mi perfil en Europa? Músico? Artista en general? Director? Productor? Apoyo? Anti-status quo? Turista expectador? Analista?

No tengo nada específico y me pongo a pensar que actualmente tampoco. ¿Qué es exactamente lo que tengo para ofrecer?

J.A., or LRI

Me gusta mucho la idea de colaborar con otras personas responsables.

Al empezar un nuevo proyecto, tengo una idea artística excitante, un approach diverso que probar. Es por esto que en ninguna agrupación peruana me he sentido ni lejanamente cómodo. Vaya a pensar más que eso.

Lo que quiero hacer es bastante simple: Quiero crear cambios que aporten a las personas en la Tierra.

En qué aspecto? En todos los que yo pueda dar una mano. Por lo que hay ciertos aspectos que me interesan más. Quizá intentando definir estos, podría yo hacerme una mejor idea de lo que tengo para dar específicamente.

Arte

Supongo que se relacionaría con el arte. Con un equipo de personas, hablaríamos de proyectos artísticos con mira a impactar a grupos de personas. Dependería en parte de las tendencias del momento (podrían ser desde streams hasta tiktoks).

Soy bueno teniendo visiones artísticas. ¿Cómo demostraría esto?

¿Cómo demostraría esto?

Update

Estos días han sido bastante amenos. Sin embargo, no creo estar realmente trabajando en algo. Hacer el último álbum fue una pasada, pero podría estar haciendo otras cosas también. Ahora estoy leyendo un par de libros relativamente depresivos. Caen bien en una dieta balanceada, por lo que ocupa agregar nuevos quehaceres, que sean provechosos para el alma y para mis planes. Paciencia y todo lo demás.

First Half May

Una quincena muy interesante.

Grabé un nuevo EP, muy diferente a los anteriores ya que incorpora la guitarra acústica como elemento principal. Tiene también fuertes influencias de Jeff Tweedy y Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. De hecho, el álbum existe gracias a Jeff Tweedy. La otra fuerte influencia es mi experiencia con las streamers pequeñas de Twitch. Que por cierto mi cuenta fue baneada ayer.

Hablando de tal experiencia; hostia.

Mi abuelo sintió dolor otra vez, así de fuerte. Muy en buena hora se pudo hacer todo en tres días: la cita, los exámenes, sus resultados y la operación. Le darán de alta hoy o mañana.

Ya dije lo del EP, pero es que ha sido una experiencia muy llenadora. Puse en acción la sugerencia de Tweedy de hacer una canción cada día, y gracias a mi recientemente recuperada guitarra acústica Yamaha (y también gracias a la guitarra del abuelo de mi ex compañero de ex banda, en verdad sirvió de mucho), pude desenvolverme sónicamente de una manera que me sorprendió.

A tal buen rollo se le unió mi idea de progresar leyendo libros, ya que muchos de ellos tuvieron un impacto incluso fundamental en mí.

Y a todo eso, el santo grial underground: las streamers de Twitch que pocos ven, y su energía cósmica.

Empecé a leer What was she thinking?, una novela sobre una profesora que tiene relaciones con su alumno. Mi canción de la quincena es "deja vu" de Olivia Rodrigo.

Fue una quincena productiva y muy amena, principalmente porque encontré una rutina que disfruto y que aporta a mi persona.

¿Cual es el CV de un visionario?

Quizá una cualidad de un visionario es la constante fascinación por el entorno y lo que rodea el entorno. Por lo que un visionario no simplemente encuentra interesante un problema, sino también su contexto: cuales son las supuestas soluciones que se están implementando, por qué no han funcionado, qué otras propuestas de solución existen, etc. Esto es lo que convierte al visionario en un experto en su campo.

Abril 2021

Abril 2021

Conocí a una dulce niña. Selena, se llama. Estos últimos días no hemos hablando, sin embargo. No se exactamente por qué.
A inicios pensé en soluciones o alternativas sobre la pésima situación de la banda. Me di cuenta que buscar músicos no fue una propuesta estúpida, mas necesaria. Una vía lógica para crear constancia, que se traduciría en resultados. Eventualmente no se pudo lograr eso sin en cambio hacer música de mierda. Después de otro vano intento de exigir constancia, contemplé tocar cuando al dueño de la casa le pintara tocar. Finalmente opté por dejar de tocar con él para siempre, antes que conformarme a tal barbaridad.

Lo anterior me abrió la posibilidad de intentar el mismo esquema de composición planeado en la banda, esta vez como solista. Los resultados han sido muy provechosos. Aún estoy en trabajo.

En los últimos días del mes, el vecino empezó a remodelar su local. No se que harán pero parece que va a haber ruido por un buen tiempo. Dado esto, estoy pensando ir si es que a diario al parque, una hora en la mañana por ejemplo. Hoy fui, por ejemplo.

Estos últimos días, y solo por ver un estúpido tiktok seudo intelectual, volví a analizar todo exhaustivamente. Actualmente estoy dejando que mi cerebro se calme.
Una de las mejores cosas de este mes fue ciertamente el nuevo setup de mi cuarto. Entre muchas mejoras, ahora tengo el teclado a mi frente siempre. Por lo que estoy tocando el piano cada día de forma natural y muy satisfacente.

También empecé a ver streams de chicas francesas para aprender el idioma.

No he corrido pero quiero correr. Tampoco he cocinado pero quiero cocinar. Este reciente orden me va a ayudar a conseguir tales objetivos.

La canción del mes es... Huh. Aparentemente es "Red Roses de Lil Skies"?

Terminé dos libros muy buenos, la bio de Jeff Tweedy y TBWSYL de la muy buena autora A.M. Homes.

Alegre que no haya basura en mi cuarto.

Update

Hoy vengo con un nuevo concepto: escribir metas puede servir, desde una perspectiva diferente.

Normalmente lo que se hace es pensar en tareas o hábitos que ayudarían a lograr las metas deseadas, y luego incorporar tales hábitos en la rutina personal habitual. Esto, he pensado, es un error colosal.

Lo que se debería hacer es modificar la rutina personal contínuamente hasta que los hábitos para lograr las metas deseadas nazcan, ocurran orgánicamente. Esta es la única manera de garantizar un cambio verdadero. En resumen; no forzar cambios sino organizar la actualidad de manera que los cambios deseados ocurran naturalmente, eventualmente.

Por lo que vamos a revisar mis objetivos.

(de "Quarantine Goals for the European Batch" del 17 de febrero del 2021)

• Crear un negocio de más de dos mil soles de ingresos mensuales
• Aprender el francés
• Aprender a cocinar platos personales perfectamente
• Entender los pasos para vivir y estudiar legalmente en Italia

Lo último es algo que ya se está llevando a cabo en segundo plano. Los otros goles tres faltan trabajar.

La pregunta sería, ¿cómo hacer que tales goles se den, de la manera más natural posible?

"Scott Pilgrim está saliendo con una colegiala"

Estos días estoy trabajando en canciones de trap. Me sale bien y lo encuentro satisfacente. También estoy leyendo la memoir de Jeff Tweedy. Es un libro que me ha convencido que el arte es responsable de la experiencia del consumidor. Ciertamente existen diversos tipos de consumidores, así que el arte no se puede juzgar objetivamente. A la vez, el consumidor puede desgustar de un tipo de arte con total razón. Y sí, Scott Pilgrim está saliendo con una colegiala.

Update

Me siento triste. Algo decepcionado. Cuando observo mi situación de vez en cuando me siento mal. Y ya no es solo lo que no conseguí, sino los nuevos malos habitos. Quizá ni tan malos, quizá. Pero no son idóneos. No en mi contexto. No al rededor de mis problemas.
Me gustaría poder contarselo a alguien. Seguro suena esto muy adolescencial, lo que sea. Me gustaría poder contar con alguien. Sería mucho más facil contar con alguien. Tendría más confianza. Y me pondría a hacer las cosas buenas con mucho entusiasmo. "Porque sé que estoy en el buen camino." Es demasiado obvio. Pero ahora, donde me encuentro yo, no estoy exactamente confiado.

Quisiera hablar con Jimena. Decirle, pedirle.

Me voy a sentir mejor pero no estoy seguro de si estoy haciendo las cosas bien. Es una bola de nieve. Siempre lo es. O haces las cosas muy bien o muy mal y no tengo razones para pensar que las hago bien. No creo que sea posible eso. Y tengo muchas pruebas de eso. Ninguna de lo contrario.
Es injusto decir que todo lo que he hecho es malo. Han habido mejoras en muchos aspectos. Pero los resultados mas allá de mi ser no son tangibles. Y entran los malos hábitos, para sobrellevarlo. De una manera, pues, mala. Todo lo que pedí fue lo que ya me habías prometido. No te hice daño. Jamás lo haría. Me hiciste todo lo contrario. Tienes todo el derecho. Tienes todo el derecho. Ojalá hubieras sido la Jimena de mis sueños. Ojalá conocerte hubiera sido todo.

March & Whereabouts

Me gusta el aire que pasa en la azotea. Es increible como ciertos cambios aparentemente triviales pueden influir de manera absoluta. Escribo esta vez en español porque tengo la idea de escribir lyrics en tal idioma. Estos días quiero estudiar composición lírica y de música contemporanea. Conocí a una streamer de España, muy inusual a decir la verdad. Ah, cierto que ya es fin de Marzo.

Marzo 2021

Este mes fue marcado por mi deseo de espandir a la banda para tener oportunidades reales de crecer como marca, a la vez de algún bonus en el sector composición. Todo mal. Mi conclusión es nueva perdida de confianza en los peruanos. Con un baterista que pagaba 220 soles al mes para que peruanos le dijeran como vestirse, acompañado del fevor del guitarrista trentañero de repetir los 60s en pleno 2021, la banda tenía todo listo para anunciar irrelevancia absoluta. Como es de esperar, me largé.
En algun momento del mes me decidí por estudiar en Italia. Aún no se qué exactamente. Cursaré en Perú la universidad por un año, para así completar los años necesarios para ser aceptado en Italia.
Mi canción del mes es Horchata de Vampire Weekend, y gracias a la nueva actualización de Spotify podré saber las subsecuentes canciones del mes sin tener que adivinar. Tanto de Weezer y mi iniciación en el trap contemporaneo.
Grooming is seen as cool just when you're at the top.

Update

I'm out of the band. I'll help it by improving what they can do, offering a direction and producing. My music ideas I will keep for transgressive people; currently myself.

University starts in a couple of weeks.

What's left is decide what to study in Rome, and improve fam biz.

Love for the young

My love for the young, meaning, for progress not stagnation, is truthful. Yet it reflects something deeper of myself, right? Would I have stood by this had I, say, banged my best friend's sister? Actually maybe not. Because in my seeking for people who weren't already set mentally for life, who were genuinely open-minded, I found a way different happening. Change, it is happening. And the adults don't like it.

Update of sorts

The band has a nice EP out but its spirit is struggling. We need new musicians, people who want to create, who are creative and have something to say.
I am going to enroll to university. It starts in a couple weeks or something. It'll be some maths-lacking carreer. I just have to be certain that my peruvian year of university will be validated so to get inside some european university with no problems. Yes, I am looking to Europe.

Yesterday I saw this emo girl who looked straight in my eyes for quite a while. I had this dream in which my local furrytherian texted someone that she wanted to make me mad. In a playful way. And I wondered how did that ended up happening.

Future Reflections

This is what'll happen once the quarantine is over. If I stay in Peru, I'll go to some university or institute with the goal of meeting people. Meaning I'll basically spend my youth in this country. If I go to Italy, I may attend university, also with the goal of meeting people. Not going to education centers gives me very little to work with. I think I shall use education centers, at least until a more promising opportunity of socializing comes up. I could also use education centers to actually learn, and that's on picking carreers with inspiring curriculums.

On the 2k profits goal thing, I have an idea: come up with viral sensation products and sell them to the youth. Sounds interesting and fun. Of course I need a team of people, comes to mind the replicator and the distributor. Quite an anashei. You know what do I think? My most direct link to those people is the band's efforts. I can meet people through the band. Alternatively, I can try to find my two pals through CS:GO, the everpopular Valve videogame. Yep, those are my options as of today.

Where are the creators? They could be here, they could be elsewhere, unknownwhere. What should I study? Should I study? I could show people my work, my visions; overlooked in Lima, celebrated in Rome. Who knows? Are there romanisti revolutionaries? I just want to try until things work. I need to be around a place in which people do stuff, a place that inspires. Should I count on Michelle? Should I count on peruvian yet-to-be-founds? What can I do on my own? What can I do with the right people, and who are the right people, are they even tangible? If I'm to wait a year before I find any creator, what should I do in the meantime? Would studying in Rome be a good decision? Who can say? Should I take a "safe path" and dropout if a revolution opportunity comes? Should I have done that years ago? Would it all be poignant different? Maybe? Chris, my bandmate, had a five-dudes band, and one of them offered to buy the equipment. They met in university. Maybe I could do a short course on Mediterranean lands? Find me a couple engineers of creation and build up a start-up, the kind that starts new things up. That could work. I mean, who do you find in art courses if not artists? Who do you find in peruvian art courses if not wannabe jackasses? Who do you find in european art courses if not european sons?

The 2k profit by selling cool products is a cool idea with potential and such but certainly unstable even if it succedes, unless we make a Supreme-like every-now-and-then product release.
I think the most immediate and secure way to get 2k for living in Rome is getting the family's properties to produce 2k+, in other words improve them.

Quarantine Goals for the European Batch

• Create a business with 2k in profits
• Learn french
• Learn to cook personal dishes perfectly
• Understand the steps to legally live and study in Italy

Discipline, or Quarantine Whereabouts

I have quite specific steps to Europe in mind. It is true that I don't immediately need to do them, or think about them. But I will. How do you do something that you only need to get accomplished on the long term?

Discipline, or Quarantine Whereabouts

Whatever definition of any word you look on the internet is a vomit of scribbled trash.
Mind back to the end of my literal neverending tries to get to university. I decided not to continue preparation for the entry examn because I recognized I wasn't good in solving artificial problems. How many apples does Pepe get? Literally who the fuck cares? And literally nobody. Yet you could see hundreds of millions of people being proud for memorizing the formuleic procedures to resolving copypasta problems, it made me sick; it would make any actually normal person sick.

Would you call the effective mechanical memorizing of fake solutions, in the span of two years, a triumph of discipline? I think there is a fine line between discipline and what is known as blind fanatism. The dude from the bible didn't offered to kill his only son out of discipline.

Discipline, or Quarantine Whereabouts II

It is forcing yourself to do something that won't have immediate repercussion, but a massive one soon enough. It is forcing and it is hard because our brains want the easy way. But the solutions to some problems take full processes and not a just a day.

Europe, then

It has been my long awaited sequel. Europe, then.

First in line, I think full betting I have a Peru plan. My current staying will be focused on the band, my band. It makes sense and it sounds fun. This is if everything goes good: Will try business tactics, business debut if you wish. How to get famous, viral, relevant, small community big quality, think and try. Maybe video clips, maybe short films. Explore and do. That'll be my Peru plan.

Now that I have a tangible agenda in here, we move to the Europe plan.

The Europe plan

I still don't know what Imma do in Europe. Going to university, as a medium to meet people, would be my first thought. What to study, that's tricky. I would be studying to meet people, something I could do here too and I would probably find not a huge difference in people.

Why Europe? Because the mindset of the peruvian collective is full of shit because of how they've all being raised. Italians, I would assume, are more independent thinkers. There's this belief that seems logical, it says rich populations tend to be more creative than poor populations.

Holy shit I've been five conscious years in Peru. I literally thought it was like seven years. Since after finishing school I've been engaging in seeking people like me. As you would expect, found nothing. Lately, and I really think out of pure, absurd casuality, I think I've found me a band that's capable, that has the tools and an actually open artistic mind. Plus the band's literally one block away from my house.

So, you see, half a decade I've handed to this country, with only dissapointment in return.

What do I need to live in Europe? Documents in order. Cooking knowledge. Monthy money for living basics (rent, money, some necessary commodities). A plan idea for what to do once I'm there. Stuff along those lines.

I currently want to go to Europe. I believe this country is fundamentally broken.

Europe as a goal changes everything, mainly not studying anything here.

What I lack is opportunities to socialize. I am at point in which I think I can sell. I need to fiercely meet people. That was my plan for 2020, before the pandemic.

I need to expose myself to the networks; the social networks, the real ones.

I have an idea. It's a bet-it-all idea. I'm currently in a band. Idea: we play live as agressively as we can, meaning everyfuckingwere.

January 2021

It's Lima, Peru. 15:44. Sunny sky and a calm charm outside. If you go a little further you'll find NYC 2001.

Image is everything. And the biggest pandemic is everywhere.

January

I'm bored. Not every second of the day. I had been busy, especially since my grandpa got sick. Now he's better but we're still following treatment.

A cool thing: I've learned to cook, the basics at least. Rice and pasta. The rest can be improved upon.

I'm in a band. So I wrote Jimena. 'Course she hasn't read yet, and best case scenario she'll block me flat-out. And the band is quite ridiculous, I admit. I mean it's cool, way better than expected. It's just one'f them's hella lazy.

I've 'moved' to the terrace. It's windier, chiller. I've kept reading. Also being listening to Wada's streams. Have me a book of Tillmans, but since I'm not practicing photography I find it killer, in a bad way, to keep studying his book.

You could say I'm on a hiatus in musical terms. It's true, I haven't felt a strong need to express. Not much to express, not much to experience but daily in-house lifestyle.

You'd think I ain't worth a dollar, but I feel like a millionaire misunderstood.

Every thought is an image.

Maybe

Maybe a girlfriend would have made total difference, would have made me act with principles.

Thiel's dichotomy

My issue is I am not a salesman. Proof is me writing this.
I have improved upon the year, but haven't seen any results (which in the pandemic context may be justified).
Peter Thiel has a dichotomy: either you're a founder or you're not. I want to be a founder, I want to make things, I want to lead a project. That's my problem. I want so much things and I am doing none of them.
Quarantine may work as an excuse, but before quarantine I had opportunities and I didn't seized them.
I hear one of my self-counselors saying "If you want to lead a project, do". My blunt response: I have tried and approached everyone I could to the best of my abilities. I also believe that true founders would know how to get out of a stucked situation. That has not been my case so far. And it makes me unhappy. I could blame other people for my strike of losses, but yet again I think a real founder would have no problem, to quote Frank Underwood, "turning over the table".

Maybe I've been the 'frustrated guy who's trying to convince people to get things done' instead of being the 'guy who gets things done'. If every action is an image then I've being doing it wrong.

Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand. Demand.

It's all connected. It's all about demand.

Want lotta money? Demand. Want to finger a young girl? Demand. Want to produce a huge-budget film? Demand. Want to eat good food? Demand. Want to increase muscular mass? Demand.

Do you demand people or do people demand you? Both. Example: though marketing, you demand people to buy your product. If done right, people will demand more of it. It's an utterly win-win scenario.

It's quid-pro-quo.
It's manipulation. In order to create demand, you manipulate the events so they appeal to the people. You give them a sweet taste of what's to come, and they submit.

Now how lareconchadelaremilputas do you do that?

"Image is everything" said some tennis player in some Canon commercial. "Pretend to be completely in control and people will assume that you are" said some key advisor to Steve Jobs.

It's image. Don't you get it?

Every action is an image.

My Independence 2021, Urgency: The Real Need, The Power of Principles

I need to make money. I think I know how to make money. I don't feel like there's the urgency. If I don't feel like there's the genuine urgency, I won't move a finger.

I think I need to make up urgencies.

The cooking deal

One of my goals was to learn how to cook. It was on my to-do list for more than a year. And as much as the culinary arts appealed to me, there was no urgency. I would still get feed every morning, midday and night. It was only recently that I decided that the quality of the food in my house was unnacceptable that my culinary whims took over. I now make my own food; out of actual, real, genuine need.

The moral of the story is that real needs don't come out of lifeplan objectives; they come out of real fucking needs.

So when I say that I need to make money I say bullshit. I don't need to make money. But I will need money. And I better have the money when the time arrives and I'd finally need the money. In other words, I have to use logic to create an urgency that'll lead me to create some business that will give me money.

The fact that I have to write about this is worrisome.

PART 2

The making of urgency

Going independent in a different country is revolutionary to anyone's life because it creates new urgencies. But it would be fool to say that that's the only way to create brand-new urgencies. Last year I had the exact same opportunities and limitations on cooking. The only difference is that now I won't eat not-good food out of principle. As you clearly can see, the revolution happened inside.

You develope an urgency when you develope a principle and the outside won't quite be close to what you deem acceptable, so you are forced to act. Out of principle.

PART 3

Man of principles

What are principles? "I have me standards". Having a principle means you will not tolerate it when things don't meet your standards.

Now there's an issue that comes with having principles: what do you do when you can't make a certain situation meet your standards? This is where pragmatism comes into play.

A couple classic examples.

• George thinks the baker's bread is borderline inedible. He goes to the bakery and screams his lungs out in front of the baker and his clients.
• Lucas thinks the juiceman's OJ tastes like piss. He befriends the juiceman and over the course of a week convinces him that it's in his best interest to 'rebrand' the OJ.

>This is where pragmatism comes into play.

Or should I say common sense. Your actions are not to protect your principles but to make them a reality.

If for some reason you just can't make a certain situation meet your standards, just accept it, grasp your part in that situation and think about what you can actually change.

Note: There are situations whose improvements would be ideal and there are situations whose improvements are urgent. If the potential loss is considerable, fight with all your forces.

If you want to help anybody up, you need to look down on them

I've always felt more comfortable around people when I look down on them. There's a Tillmans photograph of a man wearing a t-shirt that says "Don't look down on anybody... unless you're helping them up". That's exactly my point.

When you find the other person larger than you, you tend to shy away at worst, idolize at best. You convince yourself that you've got nothing to offer to them; progress stops. But when you think of yourself superior at least in some fundamental aspect, you are finally able to help them... up.

You are either above or below them. There's not such thing as equal.

Social relationships are based on quid-pro-quo. If you have nothing to give, you have everything to lose. The first step on giving is acknowledging you have something they don't have but so need, consciously or not. If you want to help anybody up, you need to look down on them.

Money Issue

The money issue. If I were to stay here, I wouldn't quite need to worry about money. Since my aim is to live elsewere, money is important. I don't believe that endless money is necessary to fulfill artistic qualms. And in the incredible instances in which it is, it is far less important than the second important thing: relevance. Having a reputation is the most important thing in life if you want to do anything at all. Having the right reputation is crutial if you want to get things done.

I do admit that I am being vague when reffering to the most important thing. Relevance, reputation, fame. I don't even know if that's the specific thing, or is it just the side effect of attitute? Is it? And you could say attitute is a side effect of a certain logic as a tool towards a mission. Whatever it might be, the thing is the most important.

The money issue. It's quite a novel issue. Until 2020, making anything was lowest-priority and first was getting into university. Last year I decided education is a mistake and employed my time improving myself. I think I am way cooler than I was a year ago. Actually, I am ages cooler now.

It is now that I have made the decision to live abroad that I find myself with the now relevant issue; the money issue.

The money issue
How does one take the money from the costumer? You offer them something that they think they need. Bathwater, blurred money, a couple of examples. Hence, you need exposure. 

The exposure issue

Marketing is about convincing, but how do you convince no one? Touché. You need a vehicle. What, how and who. What are you offering, how are you offering it and who are you offering it to? That's it. Everyone has million-dollar ideas, few come up with inventive ways of presenting it, but how many actually present it to the people? How many have direct access to the people? That's why third-year university projects like cookie-makers are a fucking joke: they sell their cookies to their fucking classmates, for crying out loud.

The exposure issue is prime 'think and act'. You have to come up with genius ways of distributing your ideas and test them and repeat until you get the timing right. That's it. That's how you become a millionaire. You're fucking welcome.

I envision of european airs. Revolutions. My physical on autopilot is quite lame. I think how just enrolling in any university could have been it. But then I think of what I experienced because I didn't go. And I appreciate my current self. "How long, though?" I could just enroll anytime anyday and it'll still make full sense. Problem of the hour is the pandemic. Which at least is democratized, since we all are under quarantine.

I envision of european airs and the scent of decency. It can't not remind me of my final months in Rome, when I so wanted to go back to my country, leave Italy forever. It wasn't really excruciating, but I did longed very much to introduce my-fancy-self to the peruvian scene, loathed my italian school experience. Because I had failed to take the experiences and opportunities that were so obviously and in good will handed to me. I had failed and I blamed it on them. I now think that was my second mistake: to believe I was flawless. (Funny enough, I do believe I am capable of things the average dude wouldn't ever dream of). That's a thought: could this be a repetition? May be a long shot, but there's the possibility. There's the chance that Italy, as different as it is from my country, could be no different in essence, could have the same lazy people with lack of vision. That's why I liked the idea of going to Rome for vacations: to test the waters. (I did went back to my country and found myself amidst bullying and loneliness).

There was a moment of excitement before I knew I would be going back to my country. It was when we considered the possibility of me and a friend of mine living by ourselves.

Quarantine IV

 I'm studying Tillmans' photos. I have my camera right here, if anything happens. Some dude on fb wants us to team up and make some music. Just direct festy music from raw instruments, sounds cool. I'm a man of simple pleasures, I presume. I've been writing, not exactly a lot but all around.

Quarantine III

 I would like to speak french; in France, of course. I would like to speak russian; in Russia, of course. See, that's the problem. I wonder if being rich and influential truly has its dark benefits. I'm pretty positive. I would like to wound people who are either way craving to be wounded.

Quarantine II

Europe. You may very well laugh, I can't imagine my future decisions in full. I have to go to Europe. I shall not explain myself.

Now it's three days that I'm trying to do something as fundamentally basic as changing the language of an electronic device.

I'm trying to write but I currently have nothing to write, and I hate having to fill the lack of ideas.

I have beat Microsoft. As always, after a (shame, Gates) waste of time. 'Ve always said it, his philantrophy is an attempt at paying his abysmal debt to humanity. Jobs, on the other hand, is an eversaint.

Quarantine I

Introducing the quarantine diary/journal/entries. Whatever's the difference. Will try and make it compact, to-the-point, concise. I like the US input. I like what Trump means today. I want to go to Europe ASAP. I've lost all confidence in peruvians, All of it. Fuck Google, Fuck Facebook and Fuck anti-consumer policies. I made an album, it's quite dope. I still miss J. I really enjoyed ditching C. I find atheism silly. I could do so much better than this. I am improving, but it's not enough by far. I want to go to Europe ASAP, yet I don't know what would I do there exactly. I've just remembered one of my mains is improving family business so I can literally live in Europe from it. Now wouldn't that be nice? And I think it is possible.