sábado, 4 de noviembre de 2023

Reasons to complain

Ok, describe it. Not for wouldn't-it-be-nice, but in order to have clues on what is missing and how to fund the efforts to achieve it.

I dig the atmosphere of japanese internet-fueled isolated systems. From Utada's Traveling, even Nemuri's contemporary, all the way from Cracky's whereados and wherealikes, Coppola's Lost in Translation and Twin Peaks obsession and for more weird awe-of-isolation. Straws from Murakami's Kafka on the Shore, that Lily Chou-Chou independent teenage film, and of course Radiohead's OK Computer's strong eastern influence and self-professed alienation from the outer world. Small social circles that are above everybody else for they share specific passions, and outside of the circle there's Sillent Hill-like fog, perfect disconnection from everyone else. Selected individuals in closed social cities that transcend space and even time thanks to a metaphysical connection to pure encrypted magic.

Of course it's post-romanticizing.

The context in which this would take place: Films chasing the ghost of love and wrath. A cast of teenagers and young adults with loathing for mainstream ways of doing things. We would of course share common mainstream-as-fuck items (music, films, etc.) but these would be selected from the rest as a token of us, we would re-brand these mainstream products of the West, and call it ours, in a defined perspective that is different from what everyone else perceives, effectively isolating even these beacons of mainstream from mainstream itself.
We would always be doing something, yes, à la Factory. New recruits would find a plethora of distinct art, reckless and heretic. But they would not have time to think, no, thinking is bad. Instead they would that same day jump into an incredible and exciting project, no time to think, only enough to absorb. An unstopping stream of art projects.
Disownance of our western heritage and disgustment of western validation tags. Constant reminder that the West's existence thrives in our annihilation, hence everything out there is evil and wrong.
An inward-looking structure, a hall of mirrors, everything must redirect to us. Our music, our films, our creations, our fairy tales and our nightmares. An impressive online presence, regardless of likes. Likes would not matter. Shares would not matter. Comments would not matter. If not ours, it would not matter at all. If we get famous, approached from other dudes, we would impose our styles and demands. Rather a few in a closed system than a lot, corrupted, in a lousy environment. Existing recruits, they would not dare desert. A priori, it would be social suicide. Even if, in theory, they could get past the barricades, they would be leaving a big chunk of who they are, so it would still be suicide; inner suicide.
Our big house would be our digital worlds. There you will find ourselves, our work, our memories. But not limited to on-line: IRL activities and events would be a constant. Most of it would probably be spontaneous but I am open to consider the possibility of a Minister of Activities or something, if anyone's interested.
These activities should be pushed to be edgy and eccentric. Eerie rituals and satanic-like practices all designed to offer a vibe so niche that would be impossible to recreate outside of our social circle. Always pushing for a vibe that's different from watching football matches or Marvel movies. We must always be designing.

On things that don't exist and my dwelling rage.

martes, 24 de octubre de 2023

Update

Hi. Update.

I am 2X now. I've got the wit, and I'm still not in the ritz.

In some senses everything is going steady, let's say. The only thing missing is everybody else following along. The interstellar burst is yet to come. Why is this?

I'll whisper you honestly. I have seen countless videos and countless hours of them, trying to decipher, trying to begin. Studied, brainstormed consumatiously. I guess I do miss Ariel. A drug that pulls you up and one that exists. And my problem relies heavily in not having found replacement. Some Vaknin said one should not seek for answers but instead learn to formulate the right questions. Well our problem (mine and the whole cause's) is a deplorable stationary status; the system's resistance to bring us traffic.

Traffic is our problem and recently I did thoroughly thought around the contacts we have (mainly girls). Them all self-absorbed, goal-driven, pseudo independent megalogirls, fruit of utter western madness. Rants aside, even if they have a disproportionate sense of self, it is a sense of self and this works tremendously against us, it strikes us deeply and errases all of their potential usage.
All this to say we have a target and should focus on the target. And here comes the traffic we don't have. We should be everywhere and my latest insight is let's not take this literally. We can be everywhere by putting our ad efforts into the right cluster, the right reactors selected with Pareto in mind and rage in heart.

If our problem is traffic, let's not try deludedly to reach for the whole world but instead let's reach for the few people who are just experts at doing that. In less we may get everything.

If there was any doubt, we are going to get everything. I don't care how it ends up looking like at times. There will not be an end of the world apart from the one I'll cause.

sábado, 4 de marzo de 2023

On a personal level - pt 4

Isolation is important, and I do admit not understanding its mechanics that much.
Isolation is not literal, of course. It means making them cultivate a sense of insecurity that is triggered when you are not around (this is also not literal). You can "not be around" by withholding validation or attention or whatnot, all this whenever she does not behave or just for the sake of it (meaning to keep her in check). She knows what will "isolate" her from your superior being, and she'll be cautious not to bother you.
One of the biggest problems is usually when they have external sources of validation. Those should be eradicated. You have to mirror them well enough that your opinion on them dropping off their friends is really a voice in their subconscious. They should NOT be able to afford dropping you off. This is crucial. Their everything has to revolve around you to an extent in which you become their air. And when that is taken away, they should die. That's how it works. They should not be able to get air from somewhere else, what's the fucking point then?

On a personal level - pt. 3

THEY ONLY LEAVE TO FEEL POWERFUL.

Leaving has to give them no pleasure at all. They have to understand corely that you would not be amused in the slightest. Huh, would be your reaction, and you continuing doing whatever the fuck you were doing, like they don't fucking exist. They won't dare leaving, because it would be a pathetic action, a choice made by an inferior being. They instead would keep trying inside the relationship. By being able to afford them to leave, you will eradicate all power from said action, and they won't leave. 

On a personal level - pt. 2

They of course need them to rely on me heavily. A day, hell, an hour without interacting with me should feel like burning hell.
It's interesting because you want to give her independence, too. So how do you make both work? Easy. She will always be trapped inside your dirty hands. The idea is to make her feel that she's independent. That's all. She thinks she's independent=she won't need leaving. She is actually begging for validation=she won't dare leaving. In order to make her feel independent, you have to not give her too much attention. That way it will all become off-balanced and they love that. They won't get enough, and they will seek. Meanwhile you will ALWAYS get more than enough, and keep seeking for more, but not from the same source, and this is the genius of it. It is IMPERATIVE to have a bunch of source, in war and in love.

On a personal level

What do I need to be happy, on a personal level?
Easy. A few many girlfriends so I can comfortably become not-as-attached with one only. Otherwise it is tedious, draining and unbearable when the eventuality of abandonment happens.
I also need male friends that want to do stuff. This I kind of have already. So you could say I just need a girlfriend. But that would be wrong, of course it would be wrong. She is going to leave. One implies female loyalty and that doesn't exist. So how many would I suggest? Three with a fluctuating fourth and fifth. Ideally, of course, all that are cool enough. But 3+ constitutes a healthy relationship, because it distributes my neediness in manageable derivatives. How important is this? I'd say very, I'd always said it. Just as important as it is to get the gurrl, it's also important to be able to put her in her place whenever she tries to stupidly divert. To be able to walk out the deal, that's power.
One word of advice. If you, Jericho, wouldn't have been so clingy on Melisa, she probably wouldn't have dropped you out. It is a funny miracle that you both are still talking. And you better eat your neediness away before you fuck this up prematurely, too.
I need the comfort of knowing that whatever happens outside, I'll be just fine because someone is caring. That works on the outside, but not so much on the actual relationship. Because I am scared to lose her, because I need her too much, and I become progressively unbearable. So to counter that, I need another girl, and another girl, and another sweet little girl by my side. That way I'm not scared anymore, they have that taste of indifference that they always seek subconsciously, and I can fuck with their brains until I get what I please, or else they fuck off, leave me, go ahead, try; I have implanted so many chips in your head that you can't let me go now, and oh, if for some pathetic flaw of mine you are able to get out, guess what, I don't fucking care, go away bitch, you liar, you fucking manipulative piece of trash, I am just fi-Oh, hi love #2, I missed you too, babe.

martes, 21 de febrero de 2023

What is bro's goal?

Parpadeo de un ojo. ¿Qué veo?

Sí sabes que Melisa terminó conmigo, ¿no? La cantidad de droga emocional que recibí fue descomunal, inmensa, epiléptica. Ahora estoy lidiando con la falta de tal esencia. Aún pertenezco arriba, creído más y lo que más se pueda. Es necesario. Pero wow que esa experiencia sentimental fue muy exquisitamente completante. Y creo que cada vez más inexorable es el progreso, la irreversibilidad del buen cambio y el camino a mi inevitable éxito total. Melisa atestigua ante esto. La pobre no se pudo deshacer de mí a la primera ni a la segunda. Fue el quiebre de sus lúdicas fantasías lo que la empujó a una renuncia con destrozo. Fue tal trivial desgarre, la edad, lo que alteró, pero no desintegró, lo que compartimos. Su propia psique menospreciada por ella misma. Víctima de su propio entorno tan resuelto a separarnos. Era muy de vanguardia la idea de nuestro amor, muy de vanguardia. Quizá en los 60s.

Parpadeo, entonces.

Europa, para iniciantes. Mis estudios tienen que empezar en Marzo (estamos 21 de Febrero), junto con mis  idas al gimnasio. Para Octubre, pienso, calculo muy volatilmente, viajo a Italia. Arreglar papeles, intentar obtener dinero del Stato, y regresar al acabar mis exámenes presenciales. Todoist es importante para no perder la cuenta, puesto a que este año también estaré llevando la cuenta del biz, junto con otros problemas que aparezcan.
Estudios, biz y gimnasio (y comida) son las principales del año.

La Compañía obtiene protagonismo constante este año. Se harán reuniones y proyectos artísticos con habitualidad, a la vez que cumple el rol social de mi vida presente.

Así como está, muy poco tiempo. Eso es bueno, mantenerse ocupado. Pero la droga sí que pide. Melisa, te ataría a un poste. De hecho, eso intenté hacer.

En resumen, vigilancia y avance constante con Todoist.

Parpadeo, pues.

Mi papá debería de practicar una mejor vida. Bueno es que haya dejado la preocupación constante del negocio. Sin embargo, no se lo puede dejar con reels y películas diariamente. Tiene que adoptar hobbies, por dado que sí.
Mi abuela debería de dejar las actividades pesadas. Bueno es que hace poco se encontró a una empleada de casa. Sin embargo, se tiene que seguir buscando, pues en un mes regresa a su paese. Y bueno, lo que tiene que hacer es dirigir a la empleada, continuando así su organización de la casa, pero de una manera menos fisicamente exhaustiva, y también debe de cuidar al perro (y viceversa).

Voy a avanzar con Todoist.